***The Hills of Time***
***by George Pollock, Jr.***

***Chapter 19***
***Awakenings***

   Make it stop ...
   Mother, pleeeease ...
   The room ...
   ... the ceiling ...
   It's ... moving ...
   ... to the left ...
   ... always to the left ...
   But it's not moving ...
   But it ...
   ... is moving ...
   Mother ...
   ... make it stop ...
   Please ...
   Oooooh ...
   Eluza closed her purple eyes.
   Which only made it worse.
   She felt her guts turning to the left ...
   ... always to the left ...
   ... even faster than the ceiling turned.
   She felt ill. Badly ill. Vomitously ill.
   So she opened her eyes.
   And watched the ceiling.
   It was moving ...
   ... to the left ...
   ... always to the left ...
   But it's not moving, she thought ...
   But it ...
   ... is moving ...
   Oh, Mother ...
   ... make it stop ...
   Please ...
   To Eluza's left, Dr. Crusher spun into view. "Captain Ortiz?" she asked.
   Slowly, Eluza realized that she was lying on something. With a soft, dull
pain in her left shoulder, she turned her head toward the other woman.
   The pain, she thought ... Why does my shoulder hurt ...?
   She remembered:
   Dawn.
   Dawn crushed my left shoulder in the corridor. My collarbone, she thought
... my shoulder blade ... probably broken ... Had to be ...
   Damn ...
   Why would he hurt me like that ...?
   Then she remembered:
   "Shellhead" ...
   The worst Solnoid epithet for a Paranoid. Utter disgust for the elaborate
constructs needed for the polymorphs to exist in the "real" world.
   The Paranoids ...
   ... for all their technology - they were just ...
 ... intelligent jelly in ...
   ... shellheads ...
   Wicked word. Evil.
   I'm surprised he didn't kill me, Eluza thought.
   And why aren't I dead?
   At which, it occurred to the Solnoid that she had asked herself that on
this ship before ...
   What came out was:
   "Doctor ..."
   Crusher nodded. "Yes. You're in sickbay again."
   Eluza sighed. "I feel ... awful ... Th' room's ... spinning ..."
   "I understand. It's a side effect of alcohol - what you call 'thanol,' I'm
told. The side effect is called a 'hangover.' I injected you with a vitamin
compound to reduce the discomfort, but you'll have to let the alcohol work
its way out of your system naturally. Sorry, but that's really the best way."
   The pink-haired woman nodded weakly. "My shoulder ... hurts ..."
   "You're lucky there," Crusher said. "Your robotic friend, Commander Dawn,
must have incredible control. He only pinched a nerve to render you
unconscious. It's what we call the 'Vulcan nerve pinch.' " She reflected for
a moment. "He looks like he could have ripped your arm off, if he wanted to
..."
   "Feels like he did ...," Eluza whispered.
   "Well, I also gave you a mild pain suppressant for your shoulder. And I
didn't detect any permanent damage of any sort. Your shoulder will be sore,
but that will go away. It'll be as good as new in about a week."
   The Solnoid closed her eyes. "Nothing ... will be as good ... as it was
..." She looked at the redhaired doctor again. "I'm so ashamed ... what I did
... what I said ..."
   Crusher was impassive. "You were intoxicated, Captain. We're all different
when our inhibitions are down."
   And the older woman suddenly was surprised.
   Eluza's eyes started to shimmer with tears.
   "I ... know ...," the female commander said, nearly choking on the words.
"I KNOW ..." She closed her eyes again, squeezing out a tear that fell down
her cheek. "And I hate what I am ... when I'm different ... like that ..."
She took a deep breath. "The anger ... the hatred ... the ..." She shook her
head. "... fear ..."
   She turned and regarded the doctor again. "That's what I am ... deep down
... Angry ... hateful ... scared ..." She swallowed hard. "I HATE IT ..."
   Crusher shrugged. "Sounds like every other humanoid I've ever met. But on
the other hand, Captain, I can't imagine that's all you are."
   The younger woman looked back up at the ceiling, sorrowful and silent in
thought.
   The doctor pondered for a moment. "You must have something inside that
makes your crew follow you, respect you   -- have faith in you. Don't you
think?"
   "I ... guess ..."
   "And I think your comrades like you, Captain. They like you for yourself.
Especially Commanders Ciera and Wellington. When they look at you, they're
glad to be with you. They're enjoying the company of a friend. I know the
look. I see it on them."
   "Rabby ...," Eluza said quietly. "Patty ... We've been through ... so much
..."
   The doctor smiled. "I think they see more in you than just anger and
fear." She chuckled softly. "Even that Commander Dawn: If I didn't know
better, I'd say he's in love with you."
   Eluza faced her again and squinted in confusion. "WHA' ...?"
   "After he carried you here to sickbay, he asked me to tell you he was
deeply sorry for hurting you. He apologizes for losing control. He said he
wanted to keep you from embarrassing yourself further."
   Crusher remembered: "He said that was because he thought you're a better
being than how you were acting ..."
   The Solnoid thought. "Dawn ... carried me here ...?" Crusher nodded, and
Eluza sighed. "I gotta ... apologize .. to him ... Gotta ..."
   "Well ... that might be difficult for a while. He's confined to quarters
for assaulting you." She saw Eluza's shock. "Security escorted him out after
he laid you on the diagnostic bed."
   Then the Starfleet officer recalled something else: "He was so very
careful with you ... so gentle ... I'd almost say ... loving ..."
   "He's in trouble ... because of me ... Damn ..." Eluza tried to sit up,
but wooziness smacked her in the head. "Ooooh ..."
   "I wouldn't try to get up for another hour, Captain. Just rest. That's
what I told Lieutenant Shoumen you needed when they came to see you."
   " ... Catty ...? Catty was here ...?"
   "She showed up when she heard about the incident outside Ten Forward. I
told her there wasn't anything to worry about - that you just needed some
rest. She left after   Commander Wellington talked to Commander Dawn for a
moment. He was escorted out, like I said."
   Eluza sighed again. "Dawn ... Gotta tell the captain ... don't want Dawn
... in trouble ... 'cause-a me ..."
   "You're going ... to get that chance, Captain ..."
   The woman on the diagnostic bed was puzzled. "When ... ?"
   "Fifteen-hundred hours."   Crusher's expression turned serious. "I'm
relaying this officially from Captain Picard: You are a guest aboard this
ship, but ... as a military officer ... you're ordered to report to the
captain's ready room at 1500 hours to explain your conduct outside Ten
Forward earlier today."
   She paused. "A word of advice - and warning, Captain Ortiz: Have a damn
good apology ready."
   For a moment, Eluza said nothing. Then   she closed her purple eyes.
   Which only made her feelings worse.
   "I don't think ...," she finally said, "... I can ever apologize that much
..."

*******

   The turbolift hummed.
   Troi fumed.
   Riker fumbled.
   "Deanna ...," he said, "... I've never doubted your empathic abilities.
You know that ..."
   The Betazoid woman didn't look at him. " But you think I'm wrong in this
case," she replied matter-of-factly - and rather pointedly.
   "No ..." He paused, planning delicately. "I don't doubt you sense that
these women aren't being evasive ..."
   "And that is what I sense," she confirmed abruptly.
   "But what if Data was right? What if they have been mentally conditioned
by the Dominion? You and I both remember how well - and easily -- the crew
was ... brainwashed ... by that alien video game. We nearly handed over the
old Enterprise-D."
   "A video game you brought aboard," she noted dryly, "after you cavorted on
Risa with that ..." She nearly said something her mother would have chastised
her for. "... woman ...," she concluded neutrally.
   Riker was silent for a moment. "That was a long time ago."
   "My memory is excellent, Commander."
   "Hmm ..."
   Troi finally turned to him. "And, really - even if they were mentally
conditioned, what purpose would they serve the Dominion, under the
circumstances?"
   "Disrupt the ship, at the least," he replied. "As far as I'm concerned,
they've already done that. They've created distractions. There's that blonde
who showed up topless in front of the captain, for instance."
   She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you heard about that, did you ...?"
   "No, Counselor ...," he said with slight self-righteousness, "I saw her
get off a turbolift wearing only her panties and the captain's command
jacket."
   The other eyebrow went up. "You ... did ...?"
   Riker smiled impishly. "Yup."
   She glanced aside in thought for a moment. "Was she ... good-looking ...?"
   "Yup."
   "And ... how did you ... feel about that, Commander ...?"
   He chuckled. "Nice try, Counselor, but I'm not biting."
   Finally, she chuckled, too. "You're no fun ..."
   "Sure I am. In the right place and the right time." He smiled broadly this
time. "With the right person ..."
   Troi put on her best professional -- yet discouraging -- therapist's face.
"We were talking about possible motivations of our female guests, Commander."
   "All right ... The same blonde caused a disturbance outside Ten Forward.
Injured Mot, I was told. Then her alleged 'commander' comes in - nearly
topless   - and tries to pick a fight with her. Another friend of hers - that
tall redhead - slaps her. Then the 'commander' starts trashing Captain Picard
in front of the crew."
   "Will, you know she was drunk. The captain has acknowledged giving her
some burgundy in the ready room with that robotic being."
   Riker pointed at her in emphasis. "And HE'S a piece of work. One moment,
he's in the ready room, talking with Picard and that pink-haired woman - and
the next, he's putting her under in a corridor with a Vulcan nerve pinch.
What's that about?"
   She shook her head thoughtfully. "I dunno. He's a difficult read. But
again, I don't sense any evasion in him. The best way I can describe how he
feels is, well ... tired. Like he's been around so long - and seen so much -
that life doesn't hold any surprises anymore." She paused. "But in the brig,
whenever he mentioned Captain Ortiz - the pink-haired woman - I sensed
something ... different."
   "What?"
   "Um ... at the least, I'd call it ... fondness. At its strongest, I'd call
it something like ... love ..."
   His eyes narrowed. "He loves her?"
   Troi shrugged playfully. "Stranger combinations have been known to happen,
Commander."
   " 'Strange' is a good word for this whole trip - and we haven't even
gotten to the Founders' planet." He sighed. "And that brings up something I
still can't shake: Even if those women - and the robotic being - aren't
mentally conditioned, there's a final possibility for their presence in the
Gamma Quadrant we have to consider."
   "What's that?"
   He considered. "Deanna ... in every race, in every time ... there've
always been traitors."
   For a moment, the hum of the turbolift was the only sound.
   "I don't know ...," she finally said. "It's certainly possible. But ...
off the top of my head, I can think of three   arguments against it, Will."
   Riker crossed his arms. "Go ahead."
   "First, from what I understand, we found them by following positrons back
to their ship." She saw him nod. "If they were planning on getting our
attention by disabling Data, they ran a huge risk that Captain Picard would
choose to proceed with our mission without him. And in their state, that
would have been one hell of a big risk."
   "Their 'state'?"
   "That's the second argument: I talked to Beverly about those women when
they were brought aboard. They were only a few degrees Kelvin from death on
that ship of theirs. The conditions aboard must have been horrific. If they
are traitors, they didn't cut a very good deal with the Dominion: They had to
be nearly frozen to death on the 50-50 chance their positron trap would get
them brought aboard the Enterprise to raise hell. I can't imagine what the
Dominion could possibly offer them to endure how we found them - given that
we could have just ignored them."
   She shook her head. "So I'm sorry, Commander, I truly believe their story.
That's my final argument: I trust my empathic abilities. I don't sense any
evasion on their parts. I'd stake my professional reputation that they're
telling the truth."
 Another silence of humming.
   "Well ...," he said at last, "... then I'll trust your abilities, too,
Counselor ..."
   Riker smiled.
   Troi smiled.
   The turbolift hummed.

*******

   It started at Dawn.
   Yes, Catty remembered later ...
   At Dawn.
   In sickbay.
   After Dawn had laid Eluza down gently on the diagnostic bed. Almost ...
tenderly, the android thought.
   But she wasn't sure.
   But she was sure that it started when Patty spoke with Dawn.
   A moment. That's all it took.
   "I'm ordering you two," Rabby told Catty and Patty before departing
sickbay to speak with Capt. Picard, "to stay out of trouble. Don't get into
any arguments with this crew. Walk away from anything that upsets or confuses
you. Go back to your quarters, if you have to. Read something from the
library computer. Just ..."
   She rocked her hands before her, as if calming children. "... don't ... do
... anything ... to get us in deeper than we are now ..."
   The redhead sighed. "Please ..."
   "Understood, Commander," Catty replied.
   Patty had been silent and dark-eyed. She swallowed lightly. "Rabby," she
whispered, "I'm scared ..."
   Her friend smiled weakly. "So am I, Pats. But I've got too many things to
do right now to feel it." After a moment, Rabby touched Patty's shoulders
tenderly and leaned toward the dark-haired woman. "Just believe that
everything will be all right, OK? Promise?"
   At last, the younger Solnoid nodded slightly. "...'kay ..."
   Rabby patted Patty's shoulder. "That's my girl ..." She drew back and
surveyed her two comrades for an instant. "I'll be back in a while. I'll be
in touch."
   "Rabs," Patty said, "before you go - what did that doctor have to tell you
that was so important? Are you all right?"
   At which, Catty noticed something strange. Catty noticed everything. It
was in her design -- receive all input possible for   analysis:
   First, Rabby's blue eyes had seemed reddened, as if they had been
irritated recently.
   Or as if she had been crying.
   But now, they drifted off, as if they were looking toward the end of time.
   Then the redhaired woman glanced down for an instant - almost unnoticeably
- at her own left breast.
   Rabby regarded Patty again. "I'll tell you later," she answered simply.
"I've got to go now."
   With that, she wheeled around and left her friends.
   Patty   watched Rabby exit in silence. Catty watched Patty -- and
everything else. As always.
 "This way, please."
   Catty turned toward the audio input. It was the Dawn patrol.
   A large security detail had gathered to escort the Paranoid commander to
his quarters. In their midst, Dawn towered above them in his robes. A tallish
male - the one who had spoken -- faced the robotic being and pointed his
weapon toward the door. With a heavy sigh, Dawn nodded. The entourage headed
out.
   The group approached Patty and Catty near the door. Dawn turned toward
Patty as he passed. "Commander," he said, "Your captain gave it her approval,
but ... I don't think I'll be able to discuss the Solnoids' racial past with
you ...   anytime soon."   His large red eyes caught her brown ones before he
vanished out the door with his escort.   "I'm sorry ..."
   Patty didn't know what to say. She just nodded. The door slid shut, and he
was gone.
   Patty studied the portal in silence for a moment. Then she looked down at
the deck, blinked and said nothing.
   Catty observed her. "The Solnoids' racial past, Commander ...?"
   The dark-haired woman picked her head up suddenly, as if in surprise. "Oh
...," she said quietly, "that's ... something Commander Dawn and I had ...
mentioned before ..." She smiled weakly. "Long story ... some other time ..."
   She glanced over at Eluza lying on the diagnostic bed, being attended by
Dr. Crusher. Then she returned to the android. "Look ...," she finally said,
her eyes darting slightly as she collected her thoughts, "I'm going to go to
... Engineering ... I want to talk to their chief engineer again ..." She
focused again on Catty. "If I'm needed, that's where I'll be, OK ...?"
   Catty nodded. "Very well, Commander."
   Patty turned to leave but stopped herself. She looked back pleadingly at
the other woman. "Catty ... do you ... ever   ... pray ...?"
   It surprised Catty. "Well ... sometimes, I ... talk to my mother ..." She
shrugged. "Sometimes, it's like ... praying ..."
   Patty nodded. "Then pray for us soon," she replied softly. "Please."
   Then she turned away and left the room, leaving the lavender-haired female
alone. Alone and confused, not knowing what to do next for more than a
minute. She watched the doctor attend Eluza, too.
   Finally, Catty departed sickbay. Patty had long gone out of sight, but the
corridor was filled with Solnoids and males intent on wherever they were
going.
   Mother Nebulart, she sighed to herself ...
   ... I want to talk to someone ...
   Data ...
   I want to talk to Data ...
   I want to talk ...
   ... to him ...
   YEAH ... IT FEELS RIGHT ... BEING WITH HIM ...
   She headed down the corridor, not even feeling like arguing with her
data-search program. Not right now. There was too much on her mind:
   The captain was ill.
   Lufy was in the brig.
   Patty's getting depressed.
   Rabby's scared - but she won't show it. And there was something she wasn't
telling the others -- maybe about her health.
   Dawn's under arrest. And he's talking about the Solnoids' racial past.
   And that, Catty recalled later, was actually where it all started.
   At Dawn.
   What got her thinking.
   Well, not exactly her thinking:
   NOW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT ...?
   THE SOLNOIDS' RACIAL PAST?
   WHAT COULD HE KNOW ...?
   ...
   WHAT COULD THERE BE ...?
   ...
   HMM ...
   ...
   BEGIN SEARCH ...
   ...
   ...
   ...

*******

   Slowly, it rose.
   Slowly, her datatag fell.
   Slowly, it rose.
   Slowly, her tunic fell.
   Slowly, they rose.
   Slowly, Rabby's breasts fell.
   Alone at a table next to a window in Ten Forward, she looked down and
watched them move as she breathed.
   Watched and waited.
   Waited after talking to Picard.
   Waited after talking to Lufy.
   She watched as she waited for the two males who were coming for her.
   Watched ... and remembered:

*******

   She watched the three-dimensional anatomical representation on the data
pad that Dr. Crusher had given her in the sickbay office. An image of Rabby's
left breast.
   And in the upper part ...
   ... the Mother's mark.
   The doctor, standing before the Solnoid, noted how Rabby's hands shook as
the younger woman studied the pad in silence.
   "We call it 'cancer,' " Crusher noted clinically.
   Rabby gazed at the image.
   "If this were, oh, about 400 years ago in our society," Crusher continued,
"it eventually would have been extremely debilitating, even with treatment -
and often, it was a death sentence ..."
   The Solnoid closed her blue eyes and drew a sharp breath.
   The older woman touched Rabby's shoulder gently. "But there's nothing to
worry about now, Commander. I promise you. With a short series of therapeutic
scans, I can clear it up. It'll never bother you again. I swear."
   Rabby opened her eyes. "Really ...?" she asked softly.
   Crusher nodded. "Do you want to get started now?"
   Rabby put the pad down on the doctor's desk and sighed, her eyes downcast.
"I ... don't know ..."
   "The scans are completely painless, I assure you."
   The other woman shook her head slightly. "It's not that ..."
   "What, then?"
   Rabby looked up again. "I don't know how to start ..." She glanced aside
to collects her thoughts. "We ... call this 'can-sir' ... the 'Mother's mark'
... We ... consider it a sign from our ... deity ..."
   Crusher pondered it. "I see."
   Rabby took a deep breath. "We ... believe the Mother ... our deity ...
marks those she considers ..." Her voice trailed off. She was silent a
moment, then: "She marks those she considers ... her bravest warriors ...
This is considered ... a badge of greatest ... honor ..."
   She lightly placed her right hand over the top of her left breast. "Some
of the greatest Solnoid warriors who have ever lived ... have had the
Mother's mark ..."
   The doctor said nothing.
   "But there's a price ... The Mother asks for the breast ... in sacrifice
..."
   "... How ...?"
   Rabby straightened in her chair, steeling herself for what she was about
to say.
   What lay ahead for her:
   "The Solnoid who's marked ... strips to the waist ... She lies down on her
back, and ... other Solnoids ... usually, her closest comrades ... gather to
restrain her ...
   "One straddles her hips and holds down her ankles ... Another holds down
her head by the forehead ... and covers her mouth ...
   "Another pulls her arms over her head and holds them down ... That gets
them out of the way ... and stretches the breast to the optimal ... position
...
   "And then another ..."
   She closed her eyes again and swallowed hard.
   After a pause, Crusher said, "Take your time, Rabby ..."
   Another deep breath. Rabby opened her eyes and held out her left hand in a
downward-cupping gesture. "The last Solnoid ... grabs the marked breast ...
pulls it taut ..." She raised her right hand in a fist. "And then she has a
very... sharp ... curved knife ..."
   The doctor gasped.
   "And with the knife, she ..."
   Rabby's right hand suddenly, shockingly, violently slashed the air.
   "Oh, my God ...," Crusher whispered.
   Rabby sank back in her chair. Quietly, matter-of-factly, she added -- to
no one in particular, "Then the wound is cauterized immediately, and the
breast is cremated ...
   "And that's how the breast is given to the Mother ..."   She looked back at
the older woman and spoke as if what she had just explained was obvious. "...
to thank her for honoring you with the mark ..."
   The doctor shut her eyes. For a conspicuous while, neither woman spoke.
   They both seemed spent.
   Finally, Crusher opened her eyes and rubbed her forehead slowly. "What
happened ...," she said cautiously, "to a Solnoid who ... refused ... to   ...
sacrifice her breast ...?"
   Rabby shrugged. "Eventually, ... the Mother would ... kill her. Slowly.
Painfully."   She shook her head, as if to clear a nightmare. "They got so
weak ... so frail ...," she whispered. "It was horrible to watch ..."
   "Did any Solnoids ... die ... from the sacrifice, Rabby ...?"
   A thoughtful nod. "Yes, ... some died from the loss of blood ..." Then her
tone got more certain. "But that was an honorable death. They were buried as
great warriors ... as heroes ... And anyone who survived the sacrifice had to
have great strength within her. Had the strength that the Mother marked her
with ...
   "You have no idea ... how much we revered the one-breasted warriors ..."
   Crusher squinted at the Solnoid, as if she were trying to see something
long ago and far away. "One-breasted ...?" she whispered. "Is it ... possible
...?" Then she fell silent.
   "What?" Rabby asked.
   The older redhead shook her head. "Nothing ... Just a passing thought ..."
She sighed. "Well ... as a Starfleet officer, I must respect your cultural
practices, Commander."   Suddenly, she chuckled. "Not that that stopped me in
one case ... Nearly lost my license and commission for it, too ... Not to
mention the jail time I was looking at ..."
   Her professional tone returned. "But if you choose to proceed with the
'sacrifice' to address your condition while you're aboard the Enterprise, I
can't stop you. But I would request, as this ship's chief medical officer, to
be present at the ritual to ensure your survival and well-being. Is that
acceptable to you?"
   Rabby nodded. "Yes ...," she finally said, "but ... I still don't know ...
what ... I'm going to do, Doctor ..."
   She looked down at her left breast. When she faced Crusher again, her head
shook slightly, and her blue eyes were gleaming with the start of tears.
   "I ... don't ... want ... to get cut ...," she choked out quietly. "I
don't want ... to die ... Not like that ... Not after all this time ..."
   She bowed her head. "Mother ...," she whispered. "Oh, Mother ...
   "... Wasn't ... I ... yours ...? After all I went through, ... didn't I
prove ... I was yours all along ...?
   "Did you have to ...?
   "Oh, Mother ...
   "... WHY ME ...?"
   Crusher touched the younger woman's shoulders again. "Rabby ...," she said
consolingly. "I can remove your cancer. Please ... promise me ... you'll
consider that option ..."
   No reply.
   Just the start of Rabby's sobbing.
   So Crusher did the only thing she could think of at the moment:
   She embraced Rabby and let her cry.

*******

   The two males were reflected in the window.
   They were coming for her.
   Rabby collected herself and turned to face Commander Riker and the bald,
rotund male with the light blue skin and creased face.
   She stood as they approached. "Commander Riker," she said.
   The tall, dark-haired male nodded curtly. "Commander Ciera," he returned,
then indicated the blue male. "Mr. Mot tells me you two already met and
talked in sickbay."
   "That's right," Rabby replied quietly. "How's your arm?" she asked the
barber.
   Mot lifted his right arm and maneuvered it slightly. "Oh, still a little
sore, but Dr. Crusher does good work, so it's all right. What's more
important is that my work doesn't suffer for it. My customers expect the
best, you know ..." He sighed and lowered his arm.
   Riker took advantage of the slight pause. "Are you ready to go, Commander?"
   Rabby nodded.
   "Mr. Mot?"
   "Oh, certainly. Let's end this unpleasant misunderstanding."
 "Do you both understand the conditions?"
   Both Bolian and Solnoid nodded.
   Riker sighed. "All right. Follow me." With that, he turned and headed for
the exit.
   Mot didn't move.
   Neither did Rabby.
   After an awkward instant, the barber gestured toward the door. "Ladies
first," he said, then smiled.
   Briefly, Rabby looked around for a "lady."
   Finally, she returned to him and, warily, pointed at herself. Her
expression clearly asked whether he was referring to her. Mot grinned and
nodded vigorously.
   "Oh ...," she said simply.
   Rabby started off quickly after Riker, with Mot in tow. Closely, he
studied her long, fiery mane that flowed to the middle of her back.
   "Commander ...," Mot said as they left Ten Forward, "if I may say so -
professionally speaking, of course ..."
   The Solnoid glanced back at him. "Yes?"
   "You have ..."   He sighed. "... very lovely hair ..."
   Rabby didn't know why ...
   Maybe it was because it was a compliment ...
   ... a compliment from a male ...
   ... a reminder of the beauty of living ...
   She felt her gloom dispel a bit.
   She felt good about herself.
   She felt happy to be alive.
   And she felt her cheeks burn with blushing.
   She grinned.
   "THANK you ...," she said softly.

*******

   The chime chirped.
   "Enter," Dawn said to the door.
   Odo walked into the guest quarters, holding a data pad. Outside, before
the door slid shut, Dawn could see two guards flanking the entrance.
   "Commander," Odo said, nodding once.
   The Paranoid stood. "Welcome, Brother," he replied, then caught himself.
"Forgive me: 'Cousin,' I believe you said. To what do I owe this honor?"
   The changeling sighed. "Never heard an inmate call a visit from his
interrogator an 'honor' before. But it isn't the first novel thing that's
happened on this little jaunt ..."
   "I've had quite a few fresh experiences recently, myself."
   "Like ... assaulting a woman into unconsciousness, Commander?"
   Dawn regarded the constable coolly, in sudden silence. "What exactly," he
finally said with a shade of annoyance, "brings you here, Brother ...?"
   Odo held up the data pad. "Captain Picard has asked me to talk to you
about the incident outside Ten Forward. Specifically, about your motivations
for your attack on Captain Ortiz."
   Dawn closed his red eyes and drew a deep breath. Slowly, he sat back down.
He opened his eyes again and motioned for Odo to sit. "Yes ...," he said
quietly, "Captain Ortiz ..." He spoke her name as if it were a puzzle he
couldn't quite figure out.
   "This conversation will be recorded for the captain's review," Odo warned.
He tapped the pad, which emitted a beep, and set it on a table between them.
"Let's begin ..."
   Dawn nodded.
   "Earlier today, according to witnesses, you stunned Captain Eluza Ortiz of
the Solnoid Navy with a nerve pinch in a corridor outside Ten Forward.
Correct or not?"
   "Correct."
   "What prompted that action, in your own words?"
   "Captain Ortiz was behaving ... irrationally ... at the time. I was
attempting to calm her down ... She ... slapped me and used a racial epithet
... referring to my species ... I acknowledge that I became angered ... and
acted impulsively ... I should like to state for the record that even under
those ... circumstances ... I never intended any ... permanent harm   ... to
Captain Ortiz."
   "Uh-huh. A report on the incident indicated that her general behavior
before your ... action ... wasn't directed toward you." Odo's tone became a
bit more probing. "Why did you become involved?"
 Dawn sighed. "I ... was aware that she wasn't ... in control of her
faculties. I had observed that earlier ... before she went to ... the area
where the incident took place. She wasn't herself ... I thought I could ...
bring her to her senses, I suppose." He paused and gazed off for a moment,
trying to focus. "I seem to have been wrong ..."
   "Captain Picard briefed me quickly about the history of conflict between
your species and Captain Ortiz's. Given that history, why did you think she
would listen to you?"
   "I didn't know whether she would or not. I just ..." He searched for the
right word. "... felt ... that the Eluza Ortiz in that hallway wasn't the
real Eluza Ortiz. That she had to be ... stopped ... before she shamed
herself too much ...It was awful seeing her like that ... I just sensed that
she was a ... better being ... than she what was in that corridor." The
commander shrugged. "I still believe that."
   The other male considered it. "Yet, you admit you assaulted her in anger."
   The Paranoid looked down in silence. Then, "I would ... never ... HURT her
..." He looked up at the changeling. "... even if I were angry at her ... I
just wanted to ... save her from herself   ... before it was too late and she
lost respect completely ... "
   Odo shook his head slightly. "I dunno ... I'm not certain Captain Picard
will appreciate the nicety you're trying to draw. We can't have people
knocking out drunken women to 'save them from themselves,' no matter how
noble you think that is."
   Dawn looked away, perhaps conceding the point.
   "Commander, I need to tell you the situation you face: If Captain Ortiz -
who's still in sickbay, by the way - presses charges against you, you're
going back to the cell where you woke up on this ship. And if we ever get
back from this little excursion, you'll be incarcerated elsewhere until your
trial. Do you understand?"
   Dawn nodded slightly, still looking away. "Yes, I do ... And ... I almost
don't care now what happens to me."
   "Do you have anything further to add?"
   Dawn faced the constable again. "I do care about Eluza ... By the Maker,
Brother, what others must think of her now ...   The venom she spewed at the
captain ... What happens to me isn't important. Eluza is. ...
   "I only pray ... she can redeem herself somehow to the captain ... and to
his crew ... and hers ..."
   Then, almost as an afterthought: "And to herself ..."   
   Odo said nothing for a moment. Then he tapped the data pad, and its beep
stopped the recording. "Off the record ...," he said dryly, giving the
commander a blasˇ look,   "from the sound of it ... if it were anybody else,
... I'd say you were head over heels ... in love with her ..."
   The Paranoid looked around, unsure of how to react. But when he returned
to Odo, his eyes seemed to ...
   ... well, the only way the changeling could ever describe it later was ...
   ...twinkle ...
   And then Dawn shrugged, perhaps conceding the point. Again.
   Odo rolled his eyes. "Oh, brother ..."
   "Cousin," Dawn corrected. Then, to the extent that his shell allowed for
such things, he smiled.

*******

   "I'mmmm ...."
   Outside the cell, Rabby could see Lufy struggling to get the next word
out. So, just under her breath, she started ...
   Hissing.
   "Sssssss ..."
   At the sound, the two men near the Solnoid turned slowly toward her. Mot
looked confused. Riker regarded the redhead coolly. Rabby caught herself
sharply and stopped hissing. She offered a weak smile.
   Mot still looked lost.
   Riker didn't react. He just turned back toward the blonde in the cell.
"You were saying, Group Leader ...?"
   Lufy breathed deeply, shut her eyes and started again: "I'm sssss ..."
   "Look at Mr. Mot when you're speaking to him," Riker said curtly.
   The Attacker's brown eyes flashed open in surprise. She hadn't been
addressed that peremptorily since her flight-school days, and it irritated
her. But in the same instant, Lufy realized that her annoyance must have been
showing because she saw Rabby's rising concern at her expression. She drew
another deep breath to calm herself and looked down for a moment.
   Then she faced the barber.
   And began once more: "I am ..."
   "... ssssorrrr-ry ...
   "... for injuring you   ...
   "I thought you were ... attacking ... me ...
   "I was ..."
   Another difficult word:
   "... wrong ..."
   Silence for a second. Lufy looked at a loss on what to add, so she finally
just repeated herself.
   "I'm ... sorr-ry ..."
   Between the two men, just behind them, Rabby   smiled and nodded.
   Riker glanced at the Bolian. "Mr. Mot?"
   The blue male spread his hands nonchalantly. "Wellll ...," he said
generously, "no permanent harm, thanks to Doctor Crusher." He turned to Lufy
in her cell. "I understand you're new to the Federation. You didn't know. I'm
sorry I upset you. Let's put all this behind us, all right?"
   Lufy glanced from the barber over to Rabby. Rabby nodded again.
   "OK ...," Lufy replied. After which, yet another momentary fight with a
word.
   But then, with a slight smile:
   "Thanks ..."
   "Hmm," Riker offered, unimpressed. "Very well. Here are the captain's
conditions: Group Leader Campbell, you're now in the custody of Commander
Ciera here. If you're involved in any other infraction on this ship, you'll
be imprisoned again for the duration of this mission. At the end of the
mission, you'll be transferred to another detainment site, pending the
outcome of any charges against you. Understood?"
   The Attacker nodded sharply.
   Riker faced Rabby. "Commander Ciera, you'll now be held personally
responsible for the group leader's behavior. If she commits another
infraction on this ship, you'll answer directly to the captain for it. Also,
you could be confined to quarters as a result. And you could be charged with
endangering the Enterprise and its crew through neglect of a duty assigned by
the captain. Is that clear?"
   "Yes," the female commander said softly.
   Riker reviewed the group in silence. Then he went to the side of the
cell's entrance and tapped the control panel. The trim of bright lights
vanished instantly. He surveyed the two woman and the barber again.
   "Dismissed," he concluded.
   Lufy stood where she was, seemingly unsure whether she wanted to join the
rest. She looked questioningly at Rabby.
   The redhead did the first thing that she felt:
   She held out a hand, as if offering to steady Lufy and guide her.
   "C'mon ...," she whispered.
   Strangely, suddenly, the blonde felt a warm comfort wash over her.
   She still had a friend.
   Reaching out, Lufy delicately stepped over the entrance frame of the cell
and took Rabby's hand. Clearing the hurdle, she let herself be drawn toward
the other woman.
   Rabby smiled. "Let's go," she suggested.
   Squeezing the other Solnoid's hand, Lufy nodded. "Yeah ..."
   Riker headed for the door. The two females followed him, and Mot fell in
behind. Closely, he studied Lufy's wild, feathered blond hair.
   "Group Leader ...," he started tentatively.
   Lufy glanced back warily. "Yeeeesss ...?"
   "I'd like to show there's no hard feelings, so if you ever feel like it,
please feel free to come by my shop for a style. You have ..."   He sighed.
"... very lovely hair ..."
   The Solnoid shrugged. "OK ... whatever ..."
   "And I hope you'll forgive this question ... I'm asking professionally, of
course ... But ... who usually cuts your hair?"
   Lufy seemed surprised that anyone would care. She focused back on the
corridor that they were heading down. "I do," she noted plainly.
   Then she turned back to the barber and shot him a wicked grin.
   "With a knife ...," she added.

*******

   Focus, she thought ...
   Damn it! Focus!!
   The corridor that Catty was walking down did. Slightly.
   And her gyro-balance ...
   It was getting sloppy. Unsettled. She felt herself sway with each step.
   She knew she was near Data's quarters. He should have finished his shift
by now, if she remembered correctly what he had told her.
   Wait ...
   Who ... told her ...?
   Um ...
   ... Data ...
   Yes ... focus on Data ...
   Data told her ...
   ... what ...?
   She halted and bowed her head. Placing a hand on her forehead, she closed
her gold-colored eyes.
   And she focused:
   Data ... told me ... his shift would be over ... by now ...
   That's it ...
   Yes ...
   Suddenly, in the darkness, she felt herself list to the right. In a panic,
she opened her eyes and threw out her arms to steady herself. A rush of
current shocked her back to the moment, and she regained her balance.
   And the corridor was out of focus again.
   She squinted once more. No effect. She squinted harder, so much that she
heard her optic servos whine in her head.
   She looked out.
   The corridor wouldn't focus. And the resolution was noticeably
deteriorated.
   And she was starting to feel ... sick ...
   "Oh, Mother ...," she whispered in fear. "Mother ... Nebulart ...
   "What's ... wrong ...?
   "What's ...
   "... happening to me ...?"
   Data ...
   Data could help her.
   Find Data.
   Later, much later, she would recall that being the last clear thought she
had in that hall.
   She reached out and touched the bulkhead. Slowly, she staggered forward,
bracing herself against the wall.
   Find ...
   ... Data ...

*******
   
   "Lieutenant Commander Worf is in Ten Forward," the computer noted.
   "Deck 10, forward section," the Solnoid ordered in reply.
   The turbolift hummed.
   Rabby fumed. "Why do you want to know where he is, Lufy?" she demanded
levelly.
   The Attacker sighed. "He ... offered me ... an invitation ... while I was
in the brig. I want to accept it."
   Her friend eyed her suspiciously. "What sort of invitation?"
   "To become a true warrior."
   "What?!" Rabby looked away toward the ceiling. "Computer, halt the lift!"
   The humming stopped.
   Blue eyes bored into brown ones in silence. "What the hell are you talking
about, Lufy?" Rabby growled.
   The blonde paused to collect her thoughts. "I'm ... a bully, Swabs ...,"
she said quietly at last. "You know it ... I admit it. Worf ... made me
understand that. He said he could show me how to be a true warrior ... not a
bully ..."
   "How?"
   "He ... didn't say. He just said to get in touch with him."
   The redhead nodded facetiously. "Just ... like ... that ...," she said
sarcastically, then snorted. "Birdshit!!"
   Lufy's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "What makes you so sure? You don't even
know what he has in mind."
   "I don't give a chicken's ass what he wants! I care about what you have in
mind! You're gonna be a 'true warrior'? Just an invitation to trouble, is all
that is. You're gonna get yourself involved in something and thrown back in
the brig!"
   The Attacker crossed her arms and huffed indignantly. "Well, thanks a
whole HELL of a lot for the vote of confidence ...Commander," she said,
citing the rank with mild snideness.
   Rabby's eyes sparked. "Ooooh, noooo   ... oh, noooo, noooo, noooo ... Don't
pull that Eluza shit on ME, lady!! I won't take it!! Not from you! Not after
the loose cannon you've been ever since I met you! I've got too much to deal
with right now to take that crap from you!"
   "Fine!!" Lufy snarled. "Then why don't you just leave me alone?! I can
take care of myself! I don't need you! I NEVER needed you!! LEAVE ME THE HELL
ALONE!!"
   Something snapped.
   Rabby struck.
   Like lightning, she grabbed the front of Lufy's tunic and slammed her
friend violently into the wall of the lift. Lufy was too shocked by the act
even to defend herself instinctively.
   And she saw Rabby's eyes ...
   In all the time they had known each other, she had never seen in Rabby's
eyes ...
   ... blind, barely contained rage.
   She did now.
   She was frightened.
   Rabby tightened her grip on the tunic so much, the garment started to
pinch Lufy. All the blonde could see was Rabby's intent face, centimeters
from hers.
   "Listen to me ... bitch ...," Rabby whispered dangerously, "I gonna lose
a tit soon ... I don't want to, but if I don't, I'm gonna die a death so
ugly, you'd piss your britches to see it! The last thing I want is to die or
lose that tit in some cell because YOU couldn't muzzle that damned temper or
mouth of yours!!"
   A fist let go, and one of its fingers pointed directly at Lufy's left eye.
"If ... you ... start ... ANYTHING else ... on this ship," Rabby intoned,
"you'd better pray to the Mother they get to you before I do ..."
   The simple ending chilled Lufy's heart:
   ".. because I wouldn't mind takin' you to hell with me ..."
   In the ensuing silence, Lufy watched Rabby breathe hard, her anger
dissipating. The Attacker became aware of the loudness of her own breathing
as she pondered what had happened.
   After a tense moment, she asked softly, "Rabby ... would you really kill
me ...?"
   The redhead said nothing at first. Then her grip on Lufy's tunic relaxed,
and she swallowed slightly. Her blue eyes started shining. Her arms lowered
and, with childlike slowness, embraced Lufy.
   Rabby buried her face in her friend's shoulder.
   "... No ...," she said quietly. "Mother ... no ... Oh, Mother ... No,
Lufy, never   ..." A small sob was muffled by Lufy's body. "Oh, Lufy, forgive
me ... I'm sorry ... Forgive me ..."
   Slowly, Lufy wrapped her arms around Rabby. "Ssssh ...," she comforted,
starting to stroke the commander's rich, full hair. "It's all right ... it's
all right ..."
   From under the hair came a wail in Rabby's voice: "It's too much ... I
can't take it ..."
   "It's OK ..."
   "... Everything's happening ... I've got the mark ... Everybody thinks I
can take anything ... I CAN'T!!"
   "I know ... I know ..."
   "WHAT AM I GONNA DO, LUFY?! I don't want to get cut, and I don't want to
die like that! WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!!"
   The blonde sighed. "I dunno, Swabby ..."
   Then ... for some reason ...
   ... she remembered a magical phrase from their past lives:
   "But you're not dead yet."
   Lufy touched her friend's chin and gently raised Rabby's tear-streaked
face toward hers. "We'll think of something ..."
   With that, she touched her lips lightly on Rabby's forehead. "Better than
that," she said kindly, "you'll think of something ..."
   Rabby sniffled. A second later, she smiled.

*******

   Riker checked the chronometer on the captain's chair's PADD. For the
bridge crew's benefit, he asked: "Computer, what is the time?"
   "The time is 1459 hours, 43 seconds."
   "Advise when it's 1500 hours," he ordered. He turned in the captain's
chair so he could watch the turbolift doors.
   And he waited.
   "The time is 1500 hours."
   Nothing happened. For a moment.
   Until the turbolift doors opened and Capt. Eluza Ortiz stepped onto the
bridge.
   "Reporting as ordered by the captain, Commander," she informed Riker.
   In silence, the second-in-command pointed once toward the ready-room door
and turned back toward the main screen.
   Oh, Mother, Eluza thought ...
   She pressed the door chime. From within came the order:
   "Come!"
   The door opened to reveal Picard behind his desk, intently studying the
computer on his desk. He said nothing as the door closed behind Eluza and she
approached. She halted at the desk.
   Mother, she thought ...
   ... help me through this ...
   "Reporting as ordered, Captain," she said.
   The older male glanced away from the computer long enough to nod curtly.
He returned to the terminal in silence.
   Eluza waited.
   He tapped at the keypads a few times, and the computer answered in beeps.
Then, almost casually, Picard rested his chin in his right hand and kept
tapping with his left.
   More silence. So much silence, Eluza swore she could hear it over his
tapping.
   "Hmm ...," he sounded at last. Slowly, he started shaking his head. "I've
been reviewing the high points of my personal logs over my Starfleet career,
Captain," he noted. "I was captain of a starship called the Stargazer for
about 20 years. Then there was about 10 years on the USS Enterprise-D, the
predecessor to this ship. And about four years on this vessel ..."
   He glanced back at Eluza. "And in all that time, Captain Ortiz ... I can't
find any record of ever being called a coward ... on my own ship ... to my
face."
   The Solnoid tensed.
   A final, decisive, commanding tap. The computer beeped and shut off.
   The starship captain leaned back in his chair and studied the young
pink-haired woman across the desk.
   "Until today," Picard observed pointedly.
   Eluza closed her purple eyes.
   I am SO dead, she thought ...
   "Look at me when I'm addressing you," the man ordered quietly.
   Her eyes flew open instantly. "Yes, Captain," she complied softly.
   He folded his hands in his lap and regarded her a little more. "I'm
unfamiliar with the military courtesy you're used to," he said, "but even
then, it strikes me that a host deserves better from his guest than I've
gotten from you, Captain."
   She broke in -- speaking quickly in fear that if she didn't rush to the
end, she'd never say what she had to. "Captain, I'm sorry. From the depths of
my heart and soul, I'm sorry."
   He nodded. "Accepted. Because I blame myself."
   Eluza squinted in confusion. "How ...?"
   "I didn't warn you in time of the intoxicating effects of wine. I tried,
but apparently, not well enough. What you went through was partly my fault.
To that extent, I ask your forgiveness, Captain Ortiz."
   She shook her head. "No ... You did warn me," she countered. "Mother knows
how, but I remember that ... I remember bolting the drink even as you warned
me. I ..." She paused. "I ... acted without thinking. I didn't listen ..."
   She sighed. "That's how ... I am at times. ...Act first, think later ..."
A nervous chuckle. "Got me killed once ..."
   Picard raised an eyebrow. "When you were attacked by the Paranoids'
biological weapon on the Star Leaf?"
   Eluza gasped and stared at the man. "How ...?"
   "I admit to you now, Captain, that Commander Data has been sharing much
relevant data from the Star Leaf's computer with me. I apologize for the
intrusion, but I think you'd do the same in my place: find out as much as you
can about the beings you've encountered so unusually."
   "I ... s'pose ..."
   "You were in command of the ship for about a day when you ...'died,' ...
weren't you?"
   "Yes."
   "Assuming command in battle in the absence of your captain, I read."
   "That's right ...," she whispered. "I forgotten her ... Mother, that's sad
..."
   Picard gestured at a chair. "Would you have been promoted to captain at
that point in your career, if the battle hadn't happened?"
   Eluza sat down. "No. You usually didn't make captain until you were about
24 ... if you lived that long ... Captain Catty Nova Nebulart - she was a
very famous Solnoid officer - was 26 when I met her."
   Picard looked askance at the young woman. "Lieutenant Shoumen's 'mother,'
I believe, is how the lieutenant views her."
   A sincere chuckle. "Bizarre but true."
   The Starfleet officer pondered his guest. "Your logs suggest that you -
and your comrades - are rather resourceful, Captain. They indicate much
talent and great potential."   He leaned forward and rested his arms on his
desk. "What I sense, however, is that there wasn't enough time to refine
those qualities."
   Eluza shrugged. "With all due respect, Captain, we were too busy fighting
for our lives ... and to save our race ... That left little time for
professional development."
   "I understand." He sighed. "Captain, I want to ask you: How did you feel
toward your enemy, the Paranoids?"
   She gazed away for an instant. "They weren't ... real ...," she said at
last. "They were an abstraction ... I fought them because I was told to fight
them. But I also saw enough of the real horror they caused to want to stop
them."
   She thought: "But ... we did horrible things to them, too ..."
   She fell silent.
   "What about Commander Dawn?" Picard asked gently.
   The Solnoid crossed her arms. "Well ...," she huffed, "he seems decent.
More thoughtful than I would have expected a Paranoid to be ... But ... he
probably hates me now ... 'Shellhead' is a filthy epithet to a Paranoid. I'm
surprised he didn't kill me, to be honest."
   Her purple eyes were downcast for a moment, then she glanced back at
Picard. "Captain, I don't blame him for what he did. Maybe ... I deserved it
... But I'm tired of hating ... I don't want to press charges. Please don't
punish him on my account."
   "I will act in the best interests of the Enterprise and the Federation,
Captain."   He turned to the computer again and tapped a keypad. The terminal
beeped to life. "Which brings me to something I found in the Star Leaf's
database ..."
   More taps. A audio sequence indicated that Picard had found what he has
sought.
   He returned to Eluza.
   Silence.
   Then a shock of static.
   And the crackling of an antique recording.
   "Once ... we were called the Gallant Force ... for our bravery in battle
...
   "I ... pray ... that we will be as gallant ... as we face the ends of our
lives ...
   "We Solnoids ... and our enemies, the Paranoids ... made war so long ...
we forgot how .... to do anything else ...
   "And for that ... we were damned to extinction ...
   "Rightly ... I have begun to think ...
   "Punishment ... for our sins ...
   "I hope that ... whoever ... finds this record ... will forgive us ... and
the Paranoids ... for not being able to solve ... the riddle of peace ...
   "If our moment ... on the stage of eternity ... had no other purpose ...
let it be ... a lesson ... and a warning ... to future times ... and future
races ...
   "May ... the Mother in heaven ... bless our ... souls ... and   forgive us
...
   "Captain ... Eluza Ortiz ... Solnoid Navy ... End log ..."
   Silence again. Even more so.
   Until Eluza felt something in her eye. She turned away from Picard and
brushed it away.
   The moisture dampened the fingertips of her white duty gloves.
   And she sniffled, still not looking at the male. "I remember that ...,"
she whispered.
   Picard tapped the computer silent. "Captain Ortiz," he finally said, "the
Federation and others in the Alpha Quadrant are fighting a war against the
Dominion. In one way of looking at it, 'solids' are fighting polymorphs for
control of part of the galaxy."
   The woman was motionless in thought.
   "Just like two and a half million years ago," he observed.
   Slowly, Eluza straightened in her chair. And listened.
   "The 'future times,' " Picard said, "and the 'future races,' are here,
Captain Ortiz. And if you want the lesson that the Solnoids and Paranoids
learned not to be wasted, it needs to be taught. Now."
   Distractedly, she nodded. "How?"
   He leaned toward her again. "I will put to Commander Dawn what I'm about
to propose to you: If you and he can sincerely agree that peace toward each
other is truly, finally in your hearts, I would like you two to join me and
others at the parley we're going to. I would hope the Founders - the
polymorphs we're fighting - will appreciate that your two species fought the
war we're fighting now. And that you paid a horrible price for waging it to
its conclusion. I can only pray they'll see that what happened to your two
species could happen to theirs and ours."
   Eluza considered it. "What if ... Dawn and I can't agree? What if we can't
put our feelings - Mother in heaven, centuries of hate -- behind us ...?"
   "Then I will leave you both on the Enterprise." At which, he pondered a
point of his own. "And I would feel very sorry for you both."
   The Solnoid breathed slowly. "I need to think about it, Captain ...," she
replied.
   "Please make your decision soon," Picard requested. "We'll reach the
Founders' planet late tomorrow."
   Closing her eyes, Eluza nodded.

*******

   OH, MOTHER ...
   OH, MOTHER NEBULART ...
   It was going wrong. It was all going wrong.
   OH, MOTHER, HELP ME ...
   In the private place that was Catty Shoumen herself, her subconscious
watched in horror.
   Routines were being interrupted. Systems were stopping.
   Catty was shutting down.
   DAMN IT, DO SOMETHING! the data-search program yelled at itself. Even as
it knew that it had started it all.
   How it began ...
   It remembered ...
   SEARCH "SOLNOID RACIAL HISTORY."
   BEGIN.
   Then it waited, feeling the comforting stream of data starting to flow
through it - the warm rush of knowledge.
   It always felt good: The voices. The numbers. The facts.
   And as always, it permitted itself the moment of wicked indulgence: the
thought that Catty Shoumen was really only whatever the program gave it ...
   The power that was. The power that could be ...
   Then, as always, it dismissed the thought. That's not what Mother Nebulart
had made the program for, it recalled.
   It wasn't separate from Catty. It was part of Catty.
   It was Catty.
   I AM CATTY was the last thought it recalled.
   Before the shock.
   Like a torrent of freezing water, a flash of input stunned the program out
of its reverie. It felt as if the program had been suddenly, viciously
stabbed with a cold knife from behind. The program couldn't function for an
instant.
   During which, the warnings started screaming.
   
FORBIDDEN!!FORBIDDEN!!FORBIDDEN!!FORBIDDEN!!FORBIDDEN!!FORBIDDEN!!FORBIDDEN!!
   Catty's subconscious gasped and looked around.
   One by one, the green psyche indicators were turning red.
   INITIALIZING SHUTDOWN PROTOCOL!! ALL SYSTEMS ENTER SERIAL TERMINATION MODE
IMMEDIATELY!! LOWER FUNCTIONS, COMMENCE AT ONCE!!
   Around the program, the warm green brightness was becoming a cold red
darkness.
   HOLY SHIT!!
   OH, MOTHER ...
   HELP ME ...
   PLEASE HELP ME ...

*******

   They stopped outside the doors to Ten Forward.
   "I must have been out of my mind to agree to this," Rabby said dryly.
   "You were," Lufy noted. "You were outta your mind with anger and sadness
and fear." She chuckled wickedly. "Only way I coulda gotten ya to go along
with this ..."
   The redhead thought quietly. Then, "Lufy ... think about this one more
time. Ask yourself if it's worth the risk of getting us all in trouble
again." Her blue eyes looked directly into Lufy's brown gaze. "Please ..."
   The Attacker sighed. "Swabby ... I want to be ... a better person. And I
think this Worf has given me a clue how to do it. I have to try." She glanced
at the deck. "If I don't ... I think I'll spend the rest of my life
regrettin' it ..."
   She looked at her friend again. "I swear to ya: At the first sign it's
gettin' tense, I'll walk out." She thought for an instant, then added, "I
promise you that, Commander."
   Now Rabby sighed, deeply. "All right ..."
   And with a small sweep of her hand, she indicated the doors.
   They stepped inside and surveyed the room. In turn, they were surveyed.
The Solnoids heard the conversation level drop noticeably as the ship's crew
realized who the pair was.
   And the women heard the whispers:
   "That's them ..."
   "Those are two of them ..."
   Lufy huffed audibly.
   "Easy ...," Rabby   cautioned in a whisper.
   The blonde drew a deep breath, closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah ...," she
replied softly. She opened her eyes again and scanned for the male she was
seeking. He was eating at a table in the middle of the room, his back turned
to the Solnoids.
   "Target in sight," Lufy said under her breath.
   "Keep it cool," Rabby advised, then pointed at the bar, where Guinan was
working. "I'll be over there." She paused. "Remember your promise."
   Lufy nodded. "I will."
   Rabby smiled. As she departed, she patted the Attacker on the arm in
reassurance. Fondly, Lufy watched her leave.
   Mother , she thought ...
   I really don't deserve that gal ...
   She sighed, then headed cautiously toward the Klingon. He was totally
focused on his meal and didn't seem to notice her approach.
   Not good to be distracted from your surroundings, the Attacker thought
strategically. Maybe he's not as good a warrior as he thinks ...
   But at the last moment ...
   He glanced to his right and pondered something. Lufy looked in that
direction: Rabby's full red hair caught her eye as the commander settled in
at the bar and Guinan greeted her.
   Oho, Lufy mused ... he's partial to redheads, huh? Another ill-advised
distraction ...
   "What do you want, Attacker?" the Klingon demanded.
   Lufy turned instantly toward Worf. He was chewing his food and still
gazing at Rabby, not at the blonde.
   The Solnoid gasped.
   "What do you want?" he repeated, still not looking at her.
   Lufy recovered slightly. "How ...?"
   Slowly, he turned. He studied her at last, and as he shifted, Lufy could
see that he held a fork in his left hand. Held it like a weapon. A weapon
ready to strike at her.
   "I saw your friend alone over there," he noted carefully. "Then I felt
eyes on my back. It had to be you."
   She considered that uncomfortably. "... Coulda ... been ... anyone ..."
   "No," he said with finality. "You two are never far apart. If one is seen
alone, the other will be near her. In spirit, if not in body."
   His dark brown eyes pierced her. "I have felt this between you two."
   Lufy was silent.
   "What do you want?" he asked again.
   Finally, she stepped next to him and recalled the phrase he had used. "I
... would speak to the son of Moag ..."
   He regarded her with slight disdain - but also with slight respect. "Who
are you?"
   "I am an Attack ..." She stopped immediately and shut her eyes tightly.
When she looked at him again, she spoke with soft resignation. "I ... am ...
a bully ... who would be a true warrior ..."
   He made no response for a moment.
   I blew it, Lufy thought.
   He's not buyin' it ...
   Maybe I should walk away ...
   ... just walk away ...
   ... walk away now ...
   Oh, Rabby ...
   ... I'm so sorry ...
   At last, he nodded slightly and grunted. He gestured at a chair with the
fork. "Sit."
   "Huh?" was her reply.
   He glared at her. "What part of 'sit' do you not understand?"
   She sat.
   Worf resumed eating. The Solnoid examined his meal. That wasn't easy: It
wouldn't keep still.
   "What is that?" she asked incredulously.
   "Qagh," he explained.
   "It's ... moving ...," she whispered.
   "Qagh," he explained again.
   "It looks like ... worms ..."
   "Qagh," he explained for the last time. "Have you eaten today?"
   The question took Lufy by surprise. "Uh ... no ... Just got outta the brig
a little while ago ..."
   The Klingon stuck the fork upright in the middle of the squirming mass on
his plate. The blonde swore she heard tiny squeals. He pushed the plate over.
   "Eat," he told her.
   As a qagh slithered off the plate and headed away from Lufy across the
table, she regarded the dish in horror. The she stared at Worf.
   "You gotta be kiddin' ...," she said.
   He was unfazed. "Are you hungry?"
   She nodded.
   "This is food," he confirmed. "Honor your feelings. Eat."
   Lufy looked back down at the plate of living victuals. Then, from the
corner of her eye, she saw the one qagh that had crawled away. It had stopped
and lifted up one end.
   And it seemed to the Attacker as if it were regarding her. Viewing her as
if it knew she wasn't hardy enough to go after it. That it knew it was safe.
   Because she didn't have the will to attack it.
   Because she feared it ...
   "A starving warrior fights meanly but not very well," Worf observed.
"There is food."
   Lufy stared at the errant qagh.
   It "stared" back.
   Finally, she reached out, grasped the fork and withdrew it from the pile
on the plate. Her eyes narrowed with purpose.
   No lunch, she thought ...
   ... is gonna make a fool outta me ...
   Suddenly, the wayward qagh looked very worried.
   For his part, Worf looked rather satisfied.

*******

   WHOA ...
   HOLD ON ...
   HEYYY ...
   HEY!!
   Catty's subconscious watched the readouts in a flurry.
   THERE ...
   THAT COULD DO IT ...
   I COULD LOOP IT ...
 The shutdown protocol was nearing the end of Catty's operating sequence. In
a few nanoseconds, it would cause the android to off-line.
   But the data-search program had noticed something. A chance. A hope.
   A minor subroutine had two crossover yes/no toggles on its work-flow
branches. Set up properly, the two toggles would keep answering each other,
like two children bouncing a ball back and forth. An endless loop. And if the
program could shunt the shutdown protocol into the loop, it would be trapped.
   Of course, Catty would be at partial operational capacity for a while. But
an antivirus might cancel the protocol, then the program could reboot the
systems that had been shut down.
   All of which was a damned sight better than the total shutdown heading
this way. It was a top-level shutdown, the subconscious knew. All activity
was being stopped.
   And at the very last, that would mean the data-search program, too. Only
an external restart could help Catty then.
   Darkness. Total and final. Cold and alone.
   The subconscious admitted its fear:
   It was very, very afraid of the dark.
   In the remaining red/green light, the program set up the toggles.
   And it waited for the shutdown protocol to come.
   It hovered over the shunt command.
   The protocol snaked its way closer.
   ANY PICOSECOND NOW ...
   EASY ...
   CAREFUL ...
   C'MON, BABE ...
   COME TO MAMA ...
   The program hovered nearer to the command.
   The protocol sped toward it.
   And ...
   NOW!!!
   The subconscious threw itself blindly toward the shunt command. Its view
was filled for an instant with the brilliant light of the shutdown protocol
as it reached the shunting point.
   At which, the data-search program was suddenly, viciously yanked back.
   It felt the incredible pain of restraint as the shunt command withdrew
from its reach.
   And it screamed.
   DAMN!!!
   SHIT!!!
   BABE OF A BITCH!!
   MOTHER DAMN IT!!
   WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!!
   In its anger, it watched as the shutdown protocol passed the shunting
point unaffected, starting to close another system.
   SHIT,   SHIT,   SHIT!!!
   In its fury, it spun around, looking for whatever had pulled it away.
   And it saw ...
   ... her.
   Catty.
   But ...
   ... it wasn't ...
   She was taller than the android -- commanding yet slim and beautiful in
her black, white and red dress uniform with its captain's braid. She had
Catty's face with 10 additional years of life, joy and sadness on it. Her
lavender hair flowed to her breasts and the middle of her back.
   Captain Catty Nova Nebulart.
   The subconscious was too furious to be curious.
   WHAT THE HELL DID YA DO THAT FOR?!! DO YA KNOW WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE?!
   The image of Catty Nebulart said nothing but looked terribly sad. At last,
slowly, it nodded.
   WHAT THE HELL ARE YA DOING OUTTA THE MEMORY?! WHY'D YA DO THAT?!
   The image was silent and sad again.
   SHE'S GONNA SHUT DOWN!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!!
   The image nodded.
   The data-search program fumed. SAY SOMETHING, DAMN YOU!! IF SHE SHUTS
DOWN, YOUR DIGITIZED ASS IS GRASS!! KAPECHE?!
   At which ...
   ... the image's gold-colored eyes flashed with anger.
   Decisively, the image strode over to the program and grabbed it with one
hand. Which shocked the   subconscious: Data wasn't tangible. It couldn't be
felt, only registered.
   What the hell was going on ...?
   The image regarded the program straight-on with deep resentment.
   And it spoke:
   "You will NOT address me in that tone of voice, young lady!"
   The subconscious gasped. YOU'RE NOT FROM MEMORY! WHO ARE YOU?!
   The image straightened imperiously. And it spoke:
   "I'm your mother, that's who   ..."
   The program paused, not knowing what to do - or think - next. It glanced
away from the image to see the shutdown protocol enter the final system,
master control. The whole surreal scene was awash with red light, with only
one green psyche indicator left.
   With a pleading expression, the subconscious returned to the image. IF WE
DON'T DO SOMETHING NOW, IT'LL SHUT CATTY DOWN! IT'LL CRASH THE SYSTEM!!
   The image was unmoved. It drew nearer to the subconscious with intense
purpose in its eyes.
   And it spoke:
   "LET it crash ..."
   And in the silence that captured the stunned program, the last psyche
indicator turned red. It had become very dark.
   A final quiet started to grow. The subconscious felt the fullness of fear
within it, and it stared at the silhouette of the image.
   WHAT ... ARE YOU ...?
   ... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ...?
   Gently, the image released its grip on the program. An uncomfortable pause
ensued.
   And finally, it spoke:
   "What had to be done ...
   "... so the truth can be known ..."
   Eerily, it started to become light again. Not the green of normal
function, but a white glow. The program turned toward the source -- the dual
monitors that displayed visual input.
   Something was beginning to form in Catty's eyes. Slowly, images began to
take shape on the monitors.
   And when they resolved:
   Catty Shoumen, face-down in her Solnoid uniform, was sprawled unconscious
on the ground.
   Somewhere.
   Somewhen.
   WHAT ... IS THIS ...? the subconscious whispered.
   The image of Catty Nebulart sighed. And it spoke:
   "The truth ..."

*******

   Spot purred.
   Data studied the information on the computer screen in his quarters. Then,
more absent-mindedly than he cared to admit, he reached over without looking
and scratched the head of the cat on his lap. Spot purred louder.
   And she was answered by the door chime.
   Data looked up. "Enter."
   Silence. And nothing.
   The door chime sounded again.
   "Enter!"
   More silence. More nothing.
   Nothing but the door chime again.
   By now, Data was curious. The cat was oblivious. Picking up the feline
delicately, Data stood and placed Spot on his bed. She decided to forgive the
disruption, lay down and curled up quickly.
   Data tapped the control panel by the door, and the portal slid open.
   No one was there. No one at the door, no one passing in the corridor.
   Then he looked down at his feet.
   Catty Shoumen, face-down in her Solnoid uniform, was sprawled unconscious
on the deck.
   "Lieutenant!"   he shouted, kneeling quickly. Instinctively, he felt for a
positronic pulse in a wrist and her neck. It was there, barely. He gently
rolled her onto her back and patted a cheek firmly. "Lieutenant Shoumen!!"
   Silence and nothing.
   Data tapped his communicator. "Data to sickbay! Medical emergency!
Transport on my signal in three seconds!"
   Quickly, he took off his communicator and placed it on Catty's chest. Less
than three seconds later, Catty's form started to shimmer from the center out
with the bright blue gleam of transport.
   Which was when Data noticed her eyes:
   They were no longer gold-colored irises and black pupils on white. They
were solid, dull gold metal.
   As if the female android had been shut down - and shut off from the
outside universe.
   Locked within herself.
   Then, even her closed eyes turned bright blue and disappeared.
   Data was alone again.
   He stood and looked back at Spot. She had already buried her face in her
paws and tail, deeply unconcerned about the drama that just occurred.
   Deeply concerned, Data turned and started for sickbay.

TO BE CONTINUED